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I Now Pronounce You Resident and Apartment

Published Monday, February 25, 2013
by Jonathan Saar


The Apartment Search

You know it is so hard to find Mr. /Mrs. Right Apartment these days. I have met many apartments and they all seem kind of the same. Some look at a little prettier from the outside. Some have a bit more depth to them with some nice amenities. There are even some that are really social and outgoing with so much community activity. I guess I really need to give this some thought and figure out what I really want in an apartment relationship. Maybe I should ask some friends to see what they think of some of these apartment hunks/hotties.

The Apartment Review

Wow! Am I ever glad I took some time to ask some of my friends about some of these apartments I am looking into dating. Some of them have dated these places before and gave me some pretty mixed reviews. There were a couple of places that my friends told me were way too into themselves. It was all about them and their rules and their rent and really nothing in return. Then there were some that were totally reclusive. You never heard from them on the date until it was time to pay the bill. There was a couple that just did not know how to take care of themselves. I was all like “What are you wearing?? Are those sweatpants on a date?” None of that appeals to me at all. There was one place though that all of my friends recommended. It was neat and clean. It had great social skills. It really puts the date ahead of itself. Now that’s the kind of apartment I want to have a relationship with!

The Date

Wow that was amazing! All of my patience and research paid off because that date was out of this world. It was so warm and inviting. I not only had a good time and felt connected but I could totally see myself in the long term wanting to be with this apartment. Everything about my experience just made me feel that this is so right! I know this maybe just my first date but everything that had led up to this and after a fantastic experience; I feel I am ready for a committed relationship. I need to let my event planner (apartment leasing professional) know!! I am so excited.

Preparing for the Big Day

My event planner has been a dream come true. I have heard from so many of my friends that committing to an apartment can be such a stressful process but my event planner (leasing pro) has been spot on. She just rocked it out and made sure all of the little things were cared for. There were so many items that were important to me such as a tasty internet connection dinner not only for me but for all of my guests who will be there. What’s a wedding without amenity flowers? My event planner made sure that I was happy with all of the amenities and that they would not die halfway through the ceremony. I met the Ushers (apartment maintenance pros) and they seemed super sweet.  Wow…she has made my life so much easier. I am ready to say “I Do”.

The Ceremony

I met my Wedding Officiate (community manager) and she was the icing on the cake from my perspective. She explained all of the legal details and how the ceremony would take place. She looked at me with a smile and said: “I am so happy for you! You are going to have a great time together.” Everything about the final stages was very smooth. Now it’s time for the big moment. I am ready to sign my certificate (apartment lease) and say my vows. I can hear my Wedding Officiate now saying: “Do you take this apartment to have and to hold and cherish?” Without a doubt I will say “I Do”. Officiate: “If there are no objections then, I now pronounce you Resident and Apartment!